Mon Sep 14
Watching Cobra Kai
Thinking about fathers & daughters
Mothers & sons
Casual violence
Things that hurt much worse in real life
Never having been punched in the face
Seems like things are talking to me these days
Michelle & Barack talking about living small
Talking about community
As I learn not to be a loner
As I learn to let the world in
As I learn about boundaries
Some people will always hate me
Maybe
And imagining that future does me no good
When I see the anger outside of me
I’m learning how tough it must’ve been on my body
To have so much anger inside me for so long
So much need
I didn’t do anything so wrong
Thank goodness
It just hurts
It’s been a sweet weekend
Let’s play it back
Up at 5 this morning to get the rental car back
And back into an airport
Breathing through the fear
Double-mask on
Yesterday in the rehearsal space
Coaching a band
Meeting men
Giving my editor brain room to run
Letting go of artist brain
Doing what my mom always suggested
Use what I’ve learned to work for other people
She figured it’d be less risky
She’s probably right
And if I hadn’t done so much
By and for myself
I wouldn’t have learned all this
Or I guess I would’ve learned something different
And all the learning almost always
Connects back to letting someone in
The night before on a back porch
A handful of people
Safely distanced
Singing softer
Projecting less
Turning my mouth from them
When going for a bigger note
At Rob & Amanda’s
Singing and screaming into the phone
Save the innocent
More singing for other people
As other people help surround my singing
Jake and Zach showing up
Gotta invite Hood Hippies in
Friday night backyard birthday
Lit by string lights
No one within 20 feet of me
Feeling safe & free
With friends & families
Not mine
But sort of
Doing the thing I love so much
And helping people
It’s okay to write that
Helping people just by singing
And talking about
Ways to move through this life
Leftover pizza scrambles
Not eating as much food
Dreaming of making
A livin small difference
Trusting people
Trusting myself
Marveling at cheap gas
Checking the AQI
Worried about our world
Gavin’s voice busting my heart open
Getting gifts for Kim
Keeping the inboxes clean
Wondering about networks
Dreaming of album covers
Letting ugly voices fade
Renegotiating with impulse and addiction
14-year-old me alive and well
My father’s ghost looming
Watching over
Going home grateful
